This post contains ranting, raving and some course language.
Please give Mummy five minutes, I’m about to loose my shit! I’ve woken up this morning, and everything has piled on my shoulders and I’m about to drop my bundle!
1. I’m sure I left the kitchen tidy before I headed out to get my hair chopped off last night, but this morning, it looks like we had a party, oh which I was not obviously invited to!
2. I’m sorry, did I ask you to leave a pile of clothes in the corner of the room, for me to play the game of “what to hang and which is clean, what to put in the washing machine?”.
3. Phoebe I love you dearly but I am sure you watched me go through your whole wardrobe two days ago and refold everything, how they hell does it now look like for the past year I’ve opened your wardrobe and just chucked things in?
4. How is it possible to loose 3 shoes, all from different pairs and not know where your runners are? Our house is only 13 sqaures, do we have shoe-eating monster I didn’t know about?
5. Why is the playroom floor littered in rubbish, isn’t there a bin under the desk?
6. Why when I swept the floor boards Wednesday does it now look like someone has let off a confetti bomb?
7. How is the microwave full of your crap, when you have a basket next to it with all your crap in it? Oh that’s right, the crap is over filling, just put it there, don’t clean out the first basket.
8. Leave that empty cordial bottle on the bench, no worries, I’ll fill it!
9. You know that big white thing under the sink? I’m pretty sure its called a dish washer, and you guessed it, it washes dishes, maybe you should try it!
10. Don’t forget the dining table can also be used to put your crap on, once of course the basket of crap is full and the microwave too.
11. Why must you insist on wearing your bathers as a netball uniform, isn’t that what dress-ups are for?
And ………….. breath, in and out! It’s only eleven and and I think I need a drink! Is there any point in ranting and raving? Probably not. What about not doing anything today to prove a point? Nah, that wont work either, just means more to do tomorrow. Instead, I guess I will suck it up! Watch some day time TV and in between, clean up this bomb site that I call my house.
Rant over! Thanks for listening!